Customers at one time or another can all fall into bad moods, get cranky, highly irritable or even fly off the handle a bit. Your front-line folks may catch them on the heels of their car’s transmission breaking down, a job loss, a bank loan denial or simply amid the cumulative effect of having kept multiple work-and-family plates spinning in the air all day.

But out there looms a whole different species of customer, one whose irritating, irrational or irksome antics aren’t usually a function of situation but rather of DNA–those we call…customers from hell. Customers from hell belittle, demand, and threaten to get physical, throw tantrums, or spew profanities. “Gladys” is the label for the CFH used by Marilyn Suttle and Lori Jo Vest, authors of the best-selling book Who’s Your Gladys?

The customer from hell requires a particularly well-fortified recovery response; CFH’ers are specially trained to probe for and exploit weaknesses in your service recovery flanks.  Here are three tacticsfor dousing the flames:

See No Evil, Hear No Evil.

Customers from hell can only reach their true offensive potential when service providers act as enablers. These customers count on being able to goad your people into joining their game, because if the CSR loses control, the CFH wins.  But if the temper tantrums persist, ignoring them sends a strong message:  “Rage, cuss and go ballistic all you want. I am not intimidated nor will I join in the escalation. ” Demonstrating that level of calm and unflappability gives you the upper hand, and quickly draws down the CFH’s oxygen supply.  Be like Teflon® to the customer’s sticky anger or upset, and let the rage wash over you.

Surface the Tension.

Surfacing the tension is a tactic to gently remind customers lost in the middle of a rant that you, too, are a living, feeling person who’s simply trying to do his or her best. Try this question: “Have I personally done something to upset you? I’d like to help. Please give me a chance.”  This will help draw the customer from hell’s attention back to the problem, not to you, the person who’s become the embodiment of it.  It’s the rare customer — yes, even that ranting CFH with a bare-thread connection to rational or civil behavior—who won’t, even if grudgingly, give you a chance.

Build Contractual Trust.

There also will come times—few and far between we hope—when customers from hell actually threaten you verbally or physically, even start to push or shove when their “service rage” caroms out of control in face-to-face recovery situations.  Here’s where you need to draw a line in the sand.  Most customers will comply with your requests to “please stop this behavior and I’ll help you, continue and I won’t.” But if they don’t it’s imperative you follow through. You may have to give the customer a moment to realize you’re dead serious. “I” statements are important in these threatening situations. They communicate that you need the customer to stop a certain behavior like pushing, grabbing or swearing, because while others might let that behavior slide, you simply can’t accept it.

Want more insight and instruction?  Order your copy of Who’s Your Gladys?  and get some fantastic free gifts this week by visiting www.whosyourgladys.com/paperbacklaunch

When my son was a fourth-grader, he came home one day and announced he had a new student leader helping his teacher.

“Did your old teacher assistant leave?” I asked.

“No,” he replied, “Mrs. Greer is still there.”

“What’s your new student leader’s name?” I asked.

Without looking up from kicking his soccer ball, he responded matter-of-factly: “Tommy.”

I instantly knew this was weird. Fourth-graders don’t refer to their teachers by their first names. Tenth-graders use teachers’ first names as an act of rebellion; twelfth-graders do it to sound grown up and cool. But most fourth-graders are not that interested in being rebellious or cool.

As it turned out, Tommy was a sixth-grader and a part of a cross-age education effort to let older students tutor younger students. The concept was that elementary students often respond better to older peers than to a teacher, and placing teaching responsibility on the older students increased their growth as well.

A few months into my son’s experience, I asked how he and Tommy were doing.

“He’s not a student leader anymore,” he replied. I decided to keep my mouth closed to see if he would fill me in. He continued, “Tommy thought he knew more about math than me. And when I was getting answers faster than he did, he got really mad.  He started putting me down.  Mrs. Greer heard him and took his job away from him.”

Out of nowhere came the unexpected wisdom only a child can render:  “Real student leaders don’t put people down.”

Bill Treasurer’s new book, Leaders Open Doors, is grounded in the wisdom of his young son’s school experience.  Like my son, such lessons can be profound and insightful.  In Bill’s case the lesson from his son will create an unexpected shift in your paradigms reframing what you thought you knew about leadership.  It unfolds a refreshingly new underpinning and scaffolding for the contemporary practice of leadership. 

Today’s followers have elevated their intolerance for leaders who “put people down” instead of lifting them up.  They gravitate instead toward leaders who proactively and joyfully open doors for all the people they lead.  Buy this great book to learn much more.   http://amzn.to/10IBCkk

Sooner or later the skies become a big topic of conversation with a child   A long look coupled with a detailed conversation takes the mentoring dialogue to the really big deal part:  Why do some lights twinkle and some do not; why do some seem tiny; some seem large?  On the other side of this discussion is the fact that some planets are cold; some stars are hot.

After one such granddaddy conversation, a granddaughter’s affirmative declaration is made:  “I want to be a star.”  Planets reflect; stars burn.  Planets are masses of matter; stars are masses of energy.  There is a big difference…especially, when it comes to attitude.

Walking through the shopping mall with that same granddaughter cleverly elicited a new grading system. “She’s a planet; he’s a star.  He’s a cold planet; she’s a hot star.”  Kids know!  They always know the difference between a passionate service person burning up the sky with their passion and enthusiasm to serve.  They can also spot a cold planet—just going through the motions while stoically waiting on quitting time.  Would your customers assess you as a bright star or a cold planet?

I have a new handyman.  And, Mike is terrific.  It all started with a simple chore—power washing a sidewalk and applying a concrete sealer.  I had power washed it before but the sycamore trees nearby had stained the concrete so much it need a pro with an industrial strength power washer.  Mike came highly recommended.

Mike showed up on time, had a very cheerful attitude, gave me a reasonable price, and offered to do the decks nearby at no extra charge.  Watching him work communicated a lot about his disposition toward labor.  He looked like he was playing golf or baking a cake or building his daughter a playhouse.  It was clearly a labor of love not a laborious chore.

When he finished he knocked on the door.  I handed him a check.  “Thank you, sir,” he said. “But, before I take your money, I would like to make sure you are happy with my work.”  I assured him that I was.  And, I was curious about his attitude.  “What makes you so noticeably happy doing this type of work?” I asked.  I got a quick lesson in purposeful work.

“This is not my job,” he explained, “this is more like my hobby.”

Before I could speak, he continued.  “My brother is in rehab.  His painful stretches and aching exercises are a job.  My nephew has cancer.  His really bad nausea after chemo is a job.  I decided I was a lucky man to be healthy getting to earn a living on my own terms.  The money you give me pays my rent; but getting to do this work is my best payment.” 

What if you power served your customers like Mike power washes concrete?  Make serving others an end in itself not just a means to a paycheck.

High school reunions are always an interesting time to compare prediction with reality.  Invariably someone brings a class yearbook.  It triggers many before and after thoughts.  Is the homecoming queen as attractive as when she was crowned?  Is the “wittiest” senior still funny?  And, the most fascinating question:  how did the class member chosen as “most likely to succeed” actually turn out?

Service providers can sometimes make assumptions about customers.  The poorly dressed patron may be a rich person in disguise.  The gruff customer may be just dealing with a major personal challenge.  And, the person wanting change for a dollar may be a prospect for a sizable purchase and/or a long term relationship.

When Seafirst Bank customer John Barrier tried to get a fifty cent parking ticket validated after cashing a check, the teller informed him that his transaction did not qualify a bank customer for free parking.  Barrier had been a customer of the Spokane bank for thirty years.  And, Mr. Barrier’s response?  He moved his million dollar balance to the competitor down the street.  And the lesson learned by the bank:  Treat every customer like the “person most likely to succeed.”  You never know when they will be.

I once had a wonderful colleague whom I worked with as a co-facilitator of workshops with senior leaders.   He was a very bright and confident presenter who could lead a spirited discussion with the most challenging participant.  He also loved to tell stories.

His stories were typically long and detailed.  But, he never learned an important storytelling principle:  enchanting participants to join him on a long, detailed fable only works if the story’s punch line is insightful or compelling enough to make worthwhile the trip through its intricate details.  He has now retired and only worries about the attention span of his grandchildren.

Customers are a lot like workshop participants required to sit under the influence of a storyteller with a minutia problem.  Most service has service hoops customers are required to jump through.  Fortunately, customers are more than willing to jump through hoops—a lot of hoops.  However, hoop jumping wears quickly thin if the quality of the experience (like a punch line) does not make the trip worthwhile.   Smart service providers attack the issue in two ways.  They take as much minutia out of the service processes as is possible while elevating the value of the service experience.   If your service experience was a story, how long would you retain your customer’s attention span?

Four-way stops are exercises in decorum without supervision!  Every driver knows the rules about who goes next and who has the right of way should turns be involved.  There is no traffic light or police officer to ride herd over the proper behavior.  And, at four way stops drivers are more careful and courteous than they might be with yellow traffic lights.

Customers love to be trusted.  The newspaper machine trusts you will take only one paper when you could take the entire stack to share with your friends.  The open air market assumes no one will shoplift an apple.  Are there ill-mannered thieves who greedily hoist their way onto the system?  Of course.  But, the typical customer who is trusted responds by refusing to game the system.

Trust begins with an attitude toward customers.  Signage, for instance, communicates a lot about your attitude toward customers.  “No Smoking” can easily become “Thank you for not smoking” and with greater success.  “Overdue Fees” at the library sounds much harsher than “Extended Use fees” like the movie rental store.  What signs of trust can your customers see in how you serve them?

You are in complete control of your attitude.  Victor Frankl in his classic book, Man’s Search For Meaning, described how prisoners at the Auschwitz concentration camp in World War II determined their longevity by the way they imagined their future.  The book has sold over 10 million copies.  Camp survivors did not let their cruel guards determine their attitude toward life.  While they had no control over their physical fate, they did have total domination over how they emotionally viewed their fate.

Customers love service people with a positive attitude!  At the world famous Stew Leonard’s Dairy, the most successful grocery store in the world, if an employee shows up for work with less than a positive attitude, that employee gets to don the cow suit.  The store’s mascot and brand symbol is a milk cow.  A short time in the cow suit entertaining guests in the store seems to work wonders in transforming a down-in-the-dumps associate into a happy funmeister.  Disneyworld costumed characters are legendary for staying in character, regards of the July heat, noisy crowd, or Monday-morning-after-a-partying-weekend!

You don’t need a suit to convey a happy disposition.  It can come simply for electing to make each day a very special day.  It emerges from an optimistic choice to be more patient, less judgmental and more grateful that you have another day to spread joy to those around you.   Suit up a positive attitude and watch it attract customers eager to give you their funds, their time and their advocacy!

“Someone left the gate open,” was the usual explanation for those rare occasions when a group of our cows escaped their fence and barbed wire bordered field to wander into the woods, along the public road, or into a neighbor’s fields.  When a group of cows shed their prisoner status for an early morning hiatus, my father’s directive to me or my brother was to go retrieve “the contented cows.”

The contentment of cow freedom, however, carried a modicum of cow challenge.  Cows in our fields could always count on water plus shelter from the hot sun or rain.  There was green grass to graze in the summer and hay bales thrown from the back of a truck in the winter.  However, outside the walls of security they were subjected to fast cars on the road, no shield from the stark elements of nature, and vulnerable to unscrupulous farmers willing to quickly load up a few strays and take them to market instead of returning them to their rightful owner.

People are like cows.  No, I did not say people were cows.  But, the concept of freedom and contentment are similarly linked.  When leaders “leave the gate open” giving employees the freedom to work in pursuit of a purpose instead of under a boss, their contentment results in greater productivity and enhanced innovation.  Empowerment does not mean unlimited license; it means responsible freedom.  There is no place in organizations for reckless actions or foolhardy performance.

When leaders treat employees like partners, employees respond by acting like owners who are eager to take care of the organization. They embrace challenge and change instead of acting like an entitled victim when a part of the realities of business challenges.  Employees will deliver excellence when barbed wire fences are removed—those barriers of purposeless work, threat of retribution for error, absence of needed proficiency, or the perception of no reward for responsible risk-taking. If you are a leader, leave the gate open and become an obvious champion of contented employees!

We think of Disney moments as all about delight, fun, or magic.  Only a brilliant person would read “respect” into such an experience.  Yet, respectful service is fundamentally about creating customer experiences laced with esteem. It is grounded in a deep devotion to the customer and the customer’s welfare.  It is confident deference to customers without the slightest hint of servitude.

Now, here is the best part about customer respect.  It is the very core of what the wise cleaner was communicating.  Respect is borne of enormous pride in one’s role and workmanship manifested as a kind of invitation to the experience.  It is as if the service person is saying to customers, “Come witness and experience my excellent work, crafted just for you.”

If you asked your customers to characterize their service experience when dealing with you, would “respect” be a part of their description?  Before delight is viewed as authentic and before extraordinary is seen as real, there must be obvious respect woven throughout.